Another Cam Cardow political cartoon. And don’t pretend you didn’t wonder about the potential risk (heh)…

If you’ve been following recent press coverage of Obama’s “energy plan”, you’re probably left with the same impression I was - that it’s a utopian generalization that, like much of what he says, sounds nice, yet on closer examination, offers few specifics.

Aside from the fact that a sitting president lacks the power to implement the steps conceivably needed to accomplish the “plan’s” stated goals, it doesn’t even include sufficient specifics to be called a “plan”. Maybe a list of lofty sounding “wishes”, but hardly a “plan” any more than the one proposed by Dilbert’s PHB in one of my recent posts.

That’s not to say that the one actual “plan” he has put forward - inflate our tires - isn’t a real plan. It is. But, like Obama himself, it won’t solve much.

Mike sent this…

Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

When he arrived the next day, the farmer announced, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news; the donkey died.”

Chuck replied, “Well, then just give me my money back.”

“Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”

“Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.”

“What ya gonna do with him?”

“I’m going to raffle him off.”

“You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!”

“Sure I can. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, “What ever happened with that dead donkey?”

Chuck replied, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00.”

“Didn’t anyone complain?”

“Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back…”

Chuck did so well screwing folks in Texas, he moved to California where he became a member of the Legislature..!

According to the official Dilbert website, this is Scott Adams’ most popular Dilbert cartoon strip…ever. I’m not saying it should or shouldn’t be, but there have been some pretty great Dilbert strips over the years. This might have been the case during the go-go 80s when managers were ruthless, but in today’s more highly regulated, “we care” business environment, not so much. Anyway, I thought I’d put it out there to see what you think…

James sent this Cam Cardow political cartoon from The Ottawa Citizen. Given the apparent success thus far of Obama’s “All Sizzle” campaign strategy, it’s a natural!

Mt. Vernon, TX - In this small Texas town, Drummond’s Bar began construction on a new building to increase their business. Almost immediately, the local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed right up until the week before opening when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground.

The parishioners were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that it was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means. The church vehemently denied all responsibility or involvement in the building’s demise in its reply to the court.

As the case made its way to trial, the judge reviewed the briefs submitted by both sides. At the preliminary hearing, he commented, “I don’t know how I’m going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and an entire church congregation that does not…”

Thanks Mike!

I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.

Got a freakin’ call center in Iraq.

I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck…

Thanks Pat!

I was never a big fan of puns. But Michael, my “brudda from anudda mudda,” is, so I’ve developed a sort of taste for them in recent years. And Dan Piraro is one of my favorite comic artists, I think because his perspective in some ways matches mine. Dawn reads him, too, and occasionally clips one of his ‘toons for me. So with that thorough and enlightening back story, I give you…

Regular contributer Hugh Atkin from Down Under makes videos, some of which are comedic spoofs featuring the U.S. presidential candidates, and posts them on YouTube. Says Hugh in an email the other day:

“I’d taken a bit of a break from election videos, but if you’re interested, I’ve just posted a mock interview with Barack Obama based on the word association game he played on Fox News. I hope you like it.

Best regards,

Hugh Atkin”

In this spoof, Obama struggles with the concept of word association. I found it pretty funny. See what you think.

Here are a couple more of Hugh’s videos I particularly enjoyed: “What Voters Want Is…” and “Clinton and Cruise - On the Campaign Trail”

A woman walks into a downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 children.

“Wow,” the social worker exclaims.”Are they all yours?”

“Yep, they’s all mine,” the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. “Sit down, Leroy!” she shouts toward her brood. All the children rush to find seats.

“Well,” says the social worker, “then you must be here to sign up. I’ll need all your children’s names.”

“This one, Leroy, he’s my oldest,” the woman replies.

“OK, and who’s next?” asks the social worker.

“Well, this one here is Leroy too,” answers the woman.

The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. And one by one, through the oldest four, all boys, the woman gives their names as “Leroy”. Then she introduces the eldest girl as “Leighroy”.

“All right,” says the caseworker, “I’m seeing a pattern here. Are you telling me they all are named ‘Leroy’?”

The woman replies, “Well, yes, it makes it easier. When it’s time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yells,’Leroy!’ an’ they all gets up. An’ when it’s time for dinner, I just yells ‘Leroy!’ an’ they all comes a runnin’. An’ if I needs to stop a kid who’s running into the street, I just yells ‘Leroy!’ and they all stop. It’s the smartest idea I ever had, namin’ them all ‘Leroy’.”

The social worker momentarily ponders the apparent logic, then wrinkles her forehead and asks tentatively, “But what if you just want just one of them to come and not the whole bunch?”

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All right, for those of you that asked to see Episode 2 when it was released (and those that didn’t ask but secretly wanted to), here ya’ go…

Watch Episode 1.

Got a dead body? Just call Frank’s Crime Scene Steam-N-Clean — the premiere biohazard removal company! Here’s the just released (well, July 21) first episode of this original webisode series:

The first episode of a dark comedy series created and produced by USC graduate film students Scott Rickels, Tim Dragga and Tim Kolesk stars Dale Midkiff, Richard Riehle, Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Tuione, Chrissy Anderson, Travis Willingham and Jessica McClendon. More episodes are “in the works” (as those of us “in the biz” like to say). Link

It’s the story of a low-rent super-villain, the hero who keeps beating him up, and the cute girl from the laundromat he’s too shy to talk to.

Neil Patrick Harris…..as Dr. Horrible
Nathan Fillion……….as Captain Hammer
Felicia Day…………..as Penny

And a cast of dozens!

Joss Whedon began writing his musical web series (watch the teaser below), with the help of all his relatives and friends, during the writer’s strike, then streamed the first three acts, free, on the official web site (not to be confused with the official fan site). The “free streaming broadcast” part is no more, but they are available on iTunes and, in the not-too-distant future (before Christmas) the complete short epic will be available on DVD. It’ll be legen….wait for it….dary!

P.S. At great personal risk, I was able to obtain this copy of “The Master Plan”, secretly penned by Joss Whedon in a dark, scary secret cave somewhere (but not the Bat Cave. This one’s shown at the beginning of the teaser, I think) that will explain the whole twisted, diabolical scheme. Read it! Be safe!

Yesterday’s post was intended to be sort of tongue-in-cheek; I just wanted an excuse to use the old Cagle ‘toon and see if anyone was still concerned about mad cow. Guess many still are. So I was glad to get this from Roboseyo in Seoul, Korea, where the natives are pretty restless about mad cow. I found it humorous and worth sharing. Says Rob:

“I have good news for all my Korean friends, and even concerned citizens in America.

See, after I got home from a lovely date with girlfriendoseyo, and a delightful walk through all the friendly protesters offering me red signs, and walking like docile cattle through the winding streets around Gwanghwamun, I checked my e-mail.

I got an e-mail from an actual, real scientist… I forget his name because I was so excited that I deleted the e-mail without thinking after I read it, but he went to Harbard or something, I swear, and here’s, like, totally the best news I’ve ever heard, and it’s absolutely totally true, because a real, actual scientist from Harbard told me.

He says that I don’t have to worry about mad cow disease, because kimchi makes you immune to it! He said kimchi’s special combination of garlic, han, spicy chili, and jung kills the prions that cause mad cow, and he showed me some serious, like really actually real science that totally proves it’s true. Here it is: See!

That totally proves it! If you don’t want to catch mad cow disease from American beef, all you have to do is eat it with kimchi, and the kimchi will kill the prions! […]

So just make sure you eat your beef with kimchi, and you’ll be fine! I swear! It’s science! Science is true!

P.S. New definition of Irony: Mad cow beef protester taking a break from shouting slogans for a nice, relaxing cigarette.”

No presidential election would be complete without a contribution from JibJab to make light of it. Here’s their latest…